anna star

So recently I have decided to get my act together and try to go back to school. I went to camosun yesterday and found out the program I would like to do still has seats left in it. So here I go trying to get myself in. One bad thing... I don't have bio12 which is a prerequ.... but they said that may be okay as long as I do it while I'm in school. So we'll see how this all pans out.

I'm just excited. School has seemed like a scary thing for me. Suddenly it is something that I don't even want to wait to get back into. I just want to be there.... STAT! Anyway up to uvic today to get a copy of my tanscripts. And where are my highschool ones!?

so... note to self... watch what is in the way when plugging in an electrical cord. Electrocution and electrical fires are not something that I want to be the cause of. Sparks are scary.

Onto another topic. Still awaiting the arrival of my income tax cheque. I am poor and am relying on that to get me through til next payday. Rent is due today, so there goes any money that may have looked to be in my account. Really, I just feel like quiting. Maybe moving home is the way to do this. I want to go back to school. However, I am so broke not in school, how am I supposed to do it when I am in school?

Grr.... this week has been a very negative one for me. I'm working on making it better. Trudging through anyway.... it's what I do best.

So...hot.... melting....

I got a bit of colour today... so nice to be able to be outside when it is nice rather then being stuck at work. I hope tomorrow is the same type of day.

I'm feeling so much tooth better. However, I'm having some separation issues over my hole. It makes me gag sometimes. I can't drink slurpees! They make my mouth hurt. grr.... That's my favorite summer thing. I better heal in time to enjoy my slurpees!

Umm.... had an interview at work today. Did not too bad. Have another one tomorrow. I dunno.... I seem to be sucking at them right now. I used to be able to nail them.... Maybe I'm just out of practice. Or maybe they are just ridiculous interviews. I know I could do both jobs. No problem.... but my problem is that I'm bored right now. I am feeling rather unstimulated. And I'm just hot. (temperature wise that is)

I have a big gaping bloody hole in my mouth. I'm really hungry... have eaten nothing all day... But I am having tooth speration anxiety or something....

There's now a hole where a tooth used to be. A bloody clot and I'm grossed out by it. the thought of eating makes me feel sick. Maybe I'll just slurp back some more jello. That seemed to work the last time.

Tommorow is tooth day. I'm broke as a joke. I'm quitting smoking. I have no gas, and have to drive to Sooke tommorow. I just got my period.

Just when I thought life could get no worse, Brendan decided that he would give me my pot before I payed him. So at least I have one thing out of my list of no's.... everything else I'll deal with it as it comes along. I have 3 days off now too... so that's another 2 full days of keeping myself busy to attend to. I guess I'll be lame and do laundry and dust my room. I noticed in the sun today that everything is pretty dusty. When I was housekeeping the dusting was my favorite part of the job. that and bathrooms.... when they weren't urine sprayed that is. I won't get into details, but I saw some of the most raunchy things.... and it makes it worse that you do not know WHO'S filth you are cleaning up after. Or maybe it's better that it's anonymous.

umm... anything else I have to sya I don't feel like typing. I'm just sick of typing...

I have an infected tooth. it hurts like a bitch. I had to go to the dentist. I think thta they know I'm crazy becuase while I was there, I started crying. I hate dentists more then anything else in the world.

Today for work I have to meet at Teas n' Beans for this bizzare and stupid employer of choice survey. I guess I get to participate in the home depot propeganda. Maybe I'll get some free coffee out of the deal.

I think that my stomache is all achy from the antibiotics. I hate antibiotics almost as much as I hate dentists.

I got a cowboy hate from texas! My mom got back yesterday and brought me presents. I had to tell her all about the party in between my toothache tears and my dentist fears. She told me that we must not have cleaned well enough because "the house still smelt funny". I'm pretty sure that it smells becuase there has been 2 males living in the house for the 5 days after the party. Crazy mom. Always something to complain about. But she picks out good clothing and cowboy hats! so I'm okay with that.

Ceilidh and Anna night tonight!

So let me update you all on the turn out of the party.... my brother let the word slip around sooke, so before I knew it there were 200+ people that turned out.... then the cops busted us. They were the only way I was able to get people out of my house. Then my friends came back and then more of my friends showed up, and we were still having a party! Although way different then the 200+ people that were there in the first place. All the young Sookies were nothing but trouble. Then we got busted by the cops a second time! They were threatening to arrest my brother and I.... and all the people inside. They made everyone leave and went in my house a second time. I'm not sure what my rights are in that case... they only came in the first time becuase I gave them permission.... so I guess they already had permission? I didn't tell them to go in the second time.. but man.... you know it was a good party if the cops had to bust it up not ony once, but twice! All in all I had an excellent evening. I kept going all night, and finally at 5:30 we walked back down the street (a few of us were hanging out at another friend's house) and went in the hottub.... mmm.... a good end to a fun night. I swear.... I blinked and suddenly there was a hundred of these young kids there. Blinked again and the rest werre filtering in. THEN people were still showing up while the cops were busting it, and afterwards. Nobody can say that I don't throw a crazy party. Alothough this one's result was hugly influenced by my brother and his big mouth. I hope he learned his lesson.... nothing was broken, and the house wasn't trashed. Just messy, and a crazy amount of empties. Regardless, I had a good time. Thinking back to it all I can do is laugh. At one point and went thrashing through the living room and pushed all the kids out of my way, turned off the music and strated screaming "get the FUCK out of my house!!". Some of them actually listened to me. Not enough to deter the cops though. They even called in cops from langford. Maybe I'll make it into police beat.... that would be highly entertaining. everyone who missed it missed one hell of a party. I'd never been to a party broken up by the cops before. Let alone a party broken up twice in one night. The cops were pissed. My friends (the ones left over after the first bust) were a lot more peacful to get out of there. There was talk of fines, and arresting my brother and I, but we managed to avoid those threats. It's just easier to comply with those type of things. Probably one of the funniest things is that the cops knew my brother and his friends by name! They all knew who I was, and when I first went to talk to them they demanded that I go in and bring my brother out to them..... I feel badass. I love Sublime.

oopsies.... lost my drunken rant about.... well I wrote it before, and now I cannot remember. I still have 8 hours befre I even have ti be UP for work. That is the way to do things. If you are in bed at a certin time I think that any hangover is worth it. Funny.... When I don't drink and I go to the bar I usually try to go later as then I have enough energy.... when I am drunk, I go home early becaus I want to make sure I don't get stuck drinking forever because... well... I do that. actually... I usually stop when I hit that drink and I think... okay... not much more now.... That's my stop point. I hate being sick the nexy day, so if I drink, I make sure it's not too bad. Okay... so I'm chaty tonight and I am just typing as there is noone online to talk to. WHERE ARE ALL OF YOU???? it's only 12:30... why is everyone in bed already??

night people.

I know that my last post was directly related to my party, but I wanted to make another one just so that it is well known, and so that everybody comes.

Just becuase I might not have talked to all of you personally, I still think everyone who reads this should be coming..... I'm recruiting for a good time. I want to fill my house with people. Come to my Sooke Party! add me to msn if you need directions or anything.... faerydustsparkles@hotmail.com

Alright.... I think I have exhausted this topic... but.... COME TO MY PARTY!!!! PARTY!PARTY!PARTY!

Just wanted to remind you guys... Sooke Party on May 13th..... Come one come all! If your ready for a good party, this is your chance.....

All this week..... today was my sleeping in day (til 6 am)... But I'm okay with that. Look at the weather the last few days and see how happy I am about being off early. Yesterday (yeah 4:20!) I went to beacon hill park with Bee and we wandered around.... I was watching the baby ducks and a rabid squirrel was chasing me. Then I figured out that it was responding to my clicking.... but it really was chasing after me. I swear! now what will my adventure be today? (but in bed no later then 10.. preferably 9:30....)

So.... Home Depot took my weekend off away... I get one every.... 2 or 3 months.... and there it is..... gone!

Alright.... whine bitch fest is over now..... as far as this is concerned.

Yesterday I did one of those personality tests.... I'm ENTP.... and I'm very impressed with the results. Hounestly, it's almost me to a t..... I remember doing it in grade 11 pace class, but I didn;t really pay attention then. I think maybe I'm just a stronger entp then I was at the time. I think you guys should all do it.... www.Mary.com--- you don't have to setup a profile or save your results, but I'm curious. I did all sorts of crazy research on my results... looking for a more detailed profile. I found out a lot. Maybe by understanding my own thought process and personality type I'll be able to channel my energies into finding something constructive to do with myself. I hate this failure I'm feeling.... having to abide by the home depot and their crack pot ideas.

I'd like to go back to bed... my blankets are so warm and cozy.....

You scored as Calvin. You are Calvin! You are an obnoxious little six-year-old who knows way too much to be getting Fs in school. You know how to have the best time playing, and can annoy adults to no end. </td> Calvin 64% Mrs. Wormwood 54% Susie 54% Mom and Dad 46% Hobbes 39% What Calvin & Hobbes character are you? created with QuizFarm.com

this is definetly one of the best quizes ever!

I made perfect popcorn on the stove tonight. It was my first time, and I didn't even burn it a little. I'm so proud..... I'm gushing.

It's 12 o'clock.... and I already fell asleep on the couch. I do not have to work tommorow, but I just didn't feel like leaving the house tonight.

I got invited to a drag show... and it would have been great fun to go. But I just couldn't bring myself to make the effort to go out. Sheena, my old supervisor from Lake Louise called me. Maybe I'll call her tommorow. But tonight's a write off.

I think Ii'm going to bed now.

Good Night everybody!!

I don't know why I continue to think it's a good idea to go for lunch with my mom..... Everytime we try we end up fighting and I come home crying. Yesterday I ended up walking home because she dropped me off downtown and refused to drive me home. Alright, so it's not a far walk (only like 20 minutes from downtown to home) but I was angry. It's the principle of the matter. I didn't have a jacket, just a dinky little sweater.... And she's the one who likes to guilt me into these things.

"I'm not going crazy, but I just don't know..."

I love sublime.... This song makes me want to dance. Alright.... so I was dancing.... that's what keeps life interesting and bearable.

So I'm apperently all cured..... except that I am still on the antibiotics and I think I keep missing doses.... oh well, what can ya do? I'm driving the beast truck right now.... I feel so mean in it.... like I could run over all the people in cars the size of mine. It amuses me. My car was overheating, so my dad took it. And go figure- he put water in it and it stopped overheating. hmm.... I though it had water? Maybe it has a leak? Alright, I'm just car retarded.

One more day of home depot hell before another 2 days off. I think I'm going to sort out all my tax things.... I might as well. it's something I really need to take care of. I hate being so disorganized. I have 2 years of taxes to do- so I think I'll go to H&R block.... it'll be easier then trying to sort it all out myself. Plus..... remind me to get the medical subsidization thing sorted out....

So I must be more sick then I thought I was..... I was driving last night for the first time, and I almost passed out. I'm waiting to turn left, talking to Ceilidh and feeling perfectly normal, and all of a sudden my ears started ringing and my vision went blurry.... I had to pull over, but I had to make the left hand turn first... and I turned into the wrong lane (good thing there was no other cars there). Then was I managed to pull over some guy in a truck was honking and fingering us (I did just pull over where there wasn't any room to pull over). We switched places and my hair and forehead were COVERED in sweat.... I guess I looked so bad that Ceilidh threatened to take me to the hospital. I resisted (I hate hospitals) and now I'm fine. I guess I was just trying to do too much with my addison's and antibiotics. Good news though-- my throat hurts less now then it did yesterday! And I still have 2 whole days off to get better!

Anyway.... apart from the sick thing... My dad called me to play mediator after the fight with my mom yesterday. He carefully explained to her that not every time she sees me it is appropriate to harass me about my life choices. He's more okay with me taking my time to figure things out-- it just feels impossible.

And... I'm sick of this waking up at 7am thing when I'm not working..... maybe I'll go for a walk today (if it doesn't start raining) along the water..... I live so close it'd be a shame not to. Plus I need to start reading again. I feel capable again after my few horrifically sick days. I just started John Steinbeck's "East of Eden".

so I'm going to try and give this updating thing a shot.... I'm sick right now and don't have much else to do with my spare time as I seem to have no energy. I heard from the clinic today (damned long weekends) and they told me I had a very high count of type A step.... eww.... good thing I already started the antibiotics. I'm keeping myself in quarantine (I don't think that's how it's spelled).

My mom came to see me today, which was nice of her. She brought me lunch. However there's that little pesky detail that always comes up whenever I see her (sick or not...)- that I'm not in school and that my younger brother makes more money then me. She's on this kick right now that I should be a hairdresser (someone told her it was a good career opportunity). However, try explaining to her that that's not for me.... I can't seem to. Actually, she doesn't listen to a goddamned thing I say about that. Oh well, the only thing I can do is just ignore her. I'll go back when I'm ready and when I have a focus. Until then, going back would do me no good anyway.

And Becky..... you've created a too fat to polka monster!

you know, I've been trying to figure out the ins and outs of life. and really, all I have been able to accomplish is to figure out that there is just so much to know. I'm not going to give up yet, becuase really, what is the point of giving up? Sometimes I get downtrodden, and try to give up for a couple of days, but curiosity always bring my head back out from under the blanket, that I was so set on staying under forever, a few days before. I don't want to sound liek a motivaional speech writer, but really? When the truth hits, and suddenly not know seems like the favorable solution, how am I not going to sound somewhat motivational.

I don't know why I'm deciding on sharing this part of my life with all of you (the rest of it is probably more dramatic and interesting as I star in my own tv reality show) but there you have it. In all my ups and downs, I have survived and come out of it. There's always going to be peaks and ditches. I'm not very good at landing. I haven't got the stop, drop and roll technique down. I always seem to hesitate for that extra second. Who knows if I'll ever learn, or really who cares if I do? I'll keep on truckin either way.

Alright... so I want to know everybody's opinion on the "fuck and chuck".